Food: Double Down

KFC Double Down

Availability: All participating KFC restaurants.
Price: $5.65

The KFC Double Down. What the hell America? Is this really one of our contributions to the world, a chicken sandwich that avoids the one thing that truly makes a sandwich: bread. I can only assume that KFC is trying to keep people from thinking about how they treat their animals by simply giving them all congestive heart failure. Anyway, on with the review! The Double Down is one of those ideas so crazy it's just extra crazy. It's right up there with the Krispy Kreme Double Cheeseburger that came out a few years ago. It all starts with with a piece of chicken, your choice of fried or grilled. For this review I did try one of each. As stated before, there is no bread, just a chicken fillet. Next comes a helping of the "Colonel's Sauce". *For the record, I have no idea what the sauce is. I really couldn't taste it that much despite how much of it there was on the thing.* Next up we have 2 slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese, followed by 2 stripes of bacon. One last thing before the top piece of chicken, more fucking Colonel's Sauce. There you have it, a literal recipe for disaster. Let's take a look at the final product.


Yum. I decided to go with the grilled option on this one, while Sarah went with the fried variety. Right away, the first problem arose - How the hell do you eat this thing?! There was no easy way to pick the thing up. Combining the grease, melted cheese, and sauce, the thing was almost too slick to hold together. Not helping matters is that they wrap the whole thing in a 1-ply thick sleeve. Mine almost disintegrated, while Sarah's fried one was right out of the fryer and thus impossible to hold in one's bare hands. "Man if only there was some kind of baked shell I could hold this in..." she said. We eventually made due with a few napkins. Finally, we were ready for the first bite.


"Holy hell! That was a lot of fucking meat and cheese!" This was my first thought. Not that eloquent, but very true. Sarah agreed once she got the feeling back to her scorched mouth. The meat was almost too much. Each bite was like eating an entire Snacker. And the cheese, there was no end to the cheese. It was the strongest flavor in the whole thing. Honestly, if they hadn't told me that it came with bacon, I wouldn't have even known it. Also, it is very salty tasting. This is probably due to the fact that each sandwich has roughly ONE FULL DAYS WORTH OF SODIUM. The grilled comes in at 1,430 mg, while the fried settles at a respectable 1,380 mg. Calorie-wise the sandwich doesn't seem as bad, at least on paper. 460 for the grilled and 540 for the fried. I'm sure, though, that there are plenty of other numbers that go along with this things Nutritional Facts to make up for this surprisingly "low" number.


For those of you that may be worried about my health now, please don't fret. I found a way to counteract the harmful effects of the Double Down:



All in all: 5 out of 10
This thing is exactly what you think it is. It looks awful and you will feel awful after eating it. That being said, it doesn't really taste that bad, it just tastes...a lot...? Things like this exist and we wonder why other countries hate us.