Has "Parody" become the new "Irony"?

The porn industry certainly seems to think so. When one thinks of the word PARODY, a wealth of different images might come to mind. The works of Mel Brooks or the late Leslie Nielsen. The vocal stylings of Weird Al. The millions upon millions of terrible videos that have been added to YouTube since you started reading this. If you're the porn industry, however, your mind is most likely to be filled with dollar signs and the stuff nightmares are afraid of.

This is what lies where madness fears to tread.

In recent years, porn has taken the idea of the parody and turned it into something so far removed from its actual definition that you'd figure Alanis Morissette had written a song about it. A plethora of porn "parodies" have emerged over the past few years with some of the weakest titles and most random source material that you're likely to see. Gone are the days of such classics as "Edward Penishands", "Super Hornio Bros.", and "A Clockwork Orgy".

Maybe it's just me, but I consider a "That 70's Show" porn more random than this.

Now, the porn parody world is dominated with titles that would make Friedberg and Seltzer proud. Simply take the name of the TV show or movie you are using and place it into a generic porn title like "This Is Not [INSERT TITLE]: A XXX Parody". While these titles do give you all the information you need, "This Ain't The Partridge Family XXX" doesn't have nearly the same charm and marketing appeal as something like "The Da Vinci Load 2: Angels and Semen".

I had a pic for "The Da Vinci Load 2", but it didn't look nearly this ridiculous.

Perhaps the worst offender I've seen in this style is "This Isn't Twilight - The XXX Parody" put out by the folks over at Devil's Film. It's a parody in much the same way as you could say "Shindler's List" was a spoof of World War 2. As much as it pains me to say, I have to give at least some credit to Friedberg and Seltzer for knowing what a parody is, even if they do suck at making them. You have to change the situations or settings around a little, put in a funny twist that isn't expected. Hell, keep everything the same and just switch up the dialogue a little.

I know this is more or less what I was asking for, but yeah..... Fuck Friedberg and Seltzer.

"TIT-TXXXP" doesn't do any of these though. It uses sets that are as close to those in "Twilight" as they could find in the director's house/spacious back yard. The dialogue suffers on two fronts as it is A) Very poorly delivered even by porn standards and B) So close to the original material that they probably should have given Stephenie Meyer a writing credit. The actors could have changed things up a bit and pretended to have personalities. That would have been cool since we've yet to see any of that in an actual "Twilight" movie.

I seriously can't even tell these two apart any more. I think the one on the right is
the one the terrorists killed on 9-11.

As it is, this "spoof" is basically a carbon copy of a few disjointed scenes from a shitty movie, intercut with bouts of unappealing people getting their fuck on. I understand why people are watching these movies and it isn't for the hot girl-on-girl thespian action. But here's my thing, if they were going to more or less do away with the story altogether, why even bother putting one in? They could have excised the story completely and retitled this "White on Whites #24" and sold just as many units. For this movie to even have a story is superfluous and begs the question: "Who the hell was this movie even made for?!" Your average porn enthusiasts can get their wank on to any one of the BILLIONS of other videos out there. As for your average "Twilight" fan, they are either 10 year old girls obsessed with "Glee" and Willa Smith or 50 year old spinsters obsessed with their cats and tiny sweaters that can go on their cats. Neither of these seems particularly like the porn industry's target demographic. The only real option left is that this movie was made for people like me who would watch it and get so pissed off about it that they'd write something about it on the internet and inadvertently cause.. more... people....

Dear gods, what have I done?!

In case you were wondering just how bad the acting really is, I present to you now the ENTIRE MOVIE "This Isn't Twilight - The XXX Parody" (sans all the porny bits). Enjoy??!

Food: Double Down

KFC Double Down

Availability: All participating KFC restaurants.
Price: $5.65

The KFC Double Down. What the hell America? Is this really one of our contributions to the world, a chicken sandwich that avoids the one thing that truly makes a sandwich: bread. I can only assume that KFC is trying to keep people from thinking about how they treat their animals by simply giving them all congestive heart failure. Anyway, on with the review! The Double Down is one of those ideas so crazy it's just extra crazy. It's right up there with the Krispy Kreme Double Cheeseburger that came out a few years ago. It all starts with with a piece of chicken, your choice of fried or grilled. For this review I did try one of each. As stated before, there is no bread, just a chicken fillet. Next comes a helping of the "Colonel's Sauce". *For the record, I have no idea what the sauce is. I really couldn't taste it that much despite how much of it there was on the thing.* Next up we have 2 slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese, followed by 2 stripes of bacon. One last thing before the top piece of chicken, more fucking Colonel's Sauce. There you have it, a literal recipe for disaster. Let's take a look at the final product.


Yum. I decided to go with the grilled option on this one, while Sarah went with the fried variety. Right away, the first problem arose - How the hell do you eat this thing?! There was no easy way to pick the thing up. Combining the grease, melted cheese, and sauce, the thing was almost too slick to hold together. Not helping matters is that they wrap the whole thing in a 1-ply thick sleeve. Mine almost disintegrated, while Sarah's fried one was right out of the fryer and thus impossible to hold in one's bare hands. "Man if only there was some kind of baked shell I could hold this in..." she said. We eventually made due with a few napkins. Finally, we were ready for the first bite.


"Holy hell! That was a lot of fucking meat and cheese!" This was my first thought. Not that eloquent, but very true. Sarah agreed once she got the feeling back to her scorched mouth. The meat was almost too much. Each bite was like eating an entire Snacker. And the cheese, there was no end to the cheese. It was the strongest flavor in the whole thing. Honestly, if they hadn't told me that it came with bacon, I wouldn't have even known it. Also, it is very salty tasting. This is probably due to the fact that each sandwich has roughly ONE FULL DAYS WORTH OF SODIUM. The grilled comes in at 1,430 mg, while the fried settles at a respectable 1,380 mg. Calorie-wise the sandwich doesn't seem as bad, at least on paper. 460 for the grilled and 540 for the fried. I'm sure, though, that there are plenty of other numbers that go along with this things Nutritional Facts to make up for this surprisingly "low" number.


For those of you that may be worried about my health now, please don't fret. I found a way to counteract the harmful effects of the Double Down:



All in all: 5 out of 10
This thing is exactly what you think it is. It looks awful and you will feel awful after eating it. That being said, it doesn't really taste that bad, it just tastes...a lot...? Things like this exist and we wonder why other countries hate us.