Movie: Teeth

Teeth (2007)

Written and Directed by: Mitchell Lichtenstein

Starring: Jess Weixler and John Hensley

Teeth, as IMDB would lead me to believe, is the type of movie one would enjoy if their tastes lay somewhere between Tinto Brass's Caligula and Paul Verhoeven's Basic Instinct. I assume that IMDB's recommendation filter probably just picked up on "sex" and "violent" and decided to call it a day. Teeth, in addition to having nothing in common with these two movies, is an interesting take on the 'coming of age' theme as well as a slightly confusing horror-esque movie.

Our movie focuses on the exploits of Dawn O'Keefe (Jess Weixler), a high school student that promotes abstinence despite her overly on-the-nose name. She and her family live in an unnamed, vaguely Appalachian town built in the shadow of a nuclear power plant. The movie lets us know pretty early on that Dawn is different from most other people. She has a fairly irregular home life shared by her father, Bill; cancer suffering step-mother, Kim; and her death metal listening, drug using, layabout step-brother, Brad (John Hensley).

Dawn and her exceptionally small group of friends all belong to a sexual awareness group called 'The Promise'. They give speeches to younger kids on the importance of not having sex until you are married. Shortly after giving a speech on purity, our protagonist is introduced to Tobey, or as I called him throughout the movie "The Lost Jonas Brother". She makes it pretty obvious from that moment on that she would probably be willing to trade in the whole purity thing for a good roll in the hay.

Things move pretty quickly for the two and after a few days they decide to take things to the next level and go swimming, alone. Oh, the scandal. After seeing each other in next to nothing, things go downhill fast. Tobey reveals that he would like nothing better than to bed down Dawn. When she sticks to her guns and insists on leaving, Tobey decides to take what he wants. After forcing himself inside, we see his look go from rage to pleasure, then from confusion to horror. Once a few terror filled moments have passed we see Tobey pull back to reveal a bloody stump where his manhood once was. He flees in shame and fear into the lake to get away from Dawn.

The next day Dawn, determined to find answers as to what happened, starts researching a seemingly mythical condition named "vagina dentata". The myth tells that from time to time a woman is born with a tooth lined vagina requiring a "hero" to triumph over her vagina, knockout the teeth, and make her a woman. A few more incidents involving her vagina and blood loss confirms to Dawn that is has vagina dentata. More importantly, though, she learns that she has control over it.

Meanwhile, Dawn's mother suffers through an episode with her illness and is taken to the hospital, only to pass away a short while later. Tempers flare at the O'Keefe home as Bill lays the blame for her death on his step-son, Brad, who was home at the time having sex and generally ignoring the fact his mother was in trouble. Bill lashes out at Brad only to be assaulted by the unruly youth's dog, placing him in the ER.

Dawn, know realizing that her step-mother is dead and her father is injured due to Brad, decides to take matters into her own hands. She goes back to the family home and convinces her step-brother to sleep with her. I think you can probably figure out what happens from here. After the deed is done, Dawn packs up a few things and leaves town, presumably to use her vagina to get what she wants from now on.

All in all: 8 out of 10

This is a fun little movie if you are looking for something different out of a scary movie or if you feel it would be fun to give a younger sibling an irrational fear of women.